Wordless Confessions
by Lovely Kacey Faith
Summary: Katniss has known Peeta since the first day of school, ever, and they've been friends ever since - though, after a certain predicament, Peeta is left in the hospital, and no one knows when, or if, he'll wake up. Through it all, she feels terrible, and goes up to the hospital as often as she can; just to sit by the selfless boy who risked his life for her.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everybody! So, I knew I needed to write a new story- and I was like "okay, snk, hetalia or hunger games" and we see where I ended up. Whoo here we go, hold on tight everybody.**

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Why he risked his life for her, she wouldn't really know.

Well, that is, until he told her so; whenever he would be able to tell her, that is.

She knew the guy, of course she did; they were actually pretty good friends, if she thought about it. She didn't have many friends to begin with, so, she could consider him a good friend - perhaps one of her best, if she could use that word.

And she knew she could, she just decided not to. Why, she wasn't so sure - but she didn't, and instead referred to good friend, or just friend.

She's known him since the first day she stepped inside a school building, so, around the time she was five years old. He was full of smiles, one of the friendliest boys she met that day. His blue eyes, she recalls, were terribly bright, almost as if they were their own color of blue. What the name would be, she hasn't figured it out quite yet, but she knows that, one day, she will.

He introduced himself, a wide smile on his face as he then asked her if she wanted to play blocks with him before the teacher began doing whatever she had planned for their first day at school. She was at a loss for words, but she agreed, forgetting to tell him her name. The boy, Peeta Mellark, didn't seem to mind though - he was more than excited to get to playing blocks with her.

And they did, she remembers. They built a house, a building, and whatever else they built, she couldn't recall. But she does remember being stopped by the teacher, and remembers the day unfold itself before it was time for their parents to pick them up. She remembers putting on her light jacket, glancing around for her mother, and when her gray hues fell on her mother's figure, she remembers being stopped, someone grabbing a hold of the end of her sleeve.

_"You never told me your name!" the five year old boy exclaims, causing her to be confused for a moment before she herself remembers she forgot to do so._

_"Katniss," she tells him, offering him a smile - one he would claim being able to light up the cities at night, but never would he say this to her, oh no. "Katniss Everdeen."_

_Then a smile appears on Peeta's face as well. "It was nice being able to play with you today, Katniss! And you have a very pretty name," he notes, and at the time, she wasn't sure why she felt her face grow warm at his words - but they did._

_"Thank you," she murmurs, glancing over her shoulder to see that her mother was still waiting for her patiently, not seeming to be in any rush._

_"Well, I'll see you tomorrow, Katniss!" she hears him exclaim. Once feeling something soft on her cheek, she turns her attention back to the boy, blinking as her brows furrow together in slight confusion. There was a smile still on his face, and pink was dusting his cheek as he lifts his hand, waving it to the side and back in a friendly goodbye before voicing the goodbye. He disappears, running off to where she assumes is his mother - or perhaps father, leaving her standing there, still confused._

They became the best of friends - well, they became good friends. She would come over to study with the boy, and he would come over to study with her, as school started to get harder and they found that studying with one another was ore successful than studying by themselves or with their parents (or elder siblings, in Peeta's case).

Sometimes, if they got too close, she would notice red coloring his face, and one of her brows would rise up in question, lips parting as if to ask what was the matter. He would always burst into some sort of conversation, whether it be a question, or whatever his elder brothers put him through last night (which, would sometimes cause her to laugh) or reel them back into the studying land.

Perhaps, that's why.

That could be why he decided to risk his life for her - since they were such good friends, maybe that's why he either felt _compelled_ to, or told himself he needed to - wanted to.

But, she tells herself that it should be herself that was in his place, not him in the place she was supposed to be in.

She knew though, that if she ever had the chance to tell him this, he would go into a long argument and say, _"But Katniss, you could've died!"_ or, _"Katniss, c'mon, you're my best friend, I don't want you to get hurt."_

Tears start to escape her eyes, even though she was trying so hard to hold them all back. She feels terrible, for letting him push her out of the car's way and take the blow - take the consequences. She had looked both ways, yet, the car seemingly came out of nowhere, and was coming at her at an accelerating rate.

Now, he paid the price for her fault, even though it wasn't even _her_ fault. It was the driver's, not hers.

True, she could be dead or perhaps where he was now - but when would he be able to look around and study with her again, or get somewhere in this life like he could?

She wasn't sure when, or if ever.

All because of her, Peeta was now in a coma.

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**Okay chapter one, tell me what ya'll think and we'll see if I continue uwu**

**_~ Lovely Kacey Faith_**


	2. Chapter 2

**So okay! I decided to continue, and I hope you guys enjoy this uwu**

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Life started out slow.

Getting back into the routine was a little shaky, especially now that she seemed to be on her own. All she could do was remind herself that it was her fault, simply her fault that her closest friend was in a comatose state.

She sucks in a breath of air, fingers curling in to the palms of her hands as they sit in her lap, gray hues staring down at the mahogany that makes the kitchen table. She wasn't sure what to do anymore; all she could feel was anger at herself, at the driver - that's all she's done the past few days, rage silently in her head at either the kitchen table or in her room.

Just sitting about wasn't getting her _anywhere _though, and she _knew_ that. She should go up to see him, even if he wouldn't be awake - she keeps telling herself that she needs to get up to go see him, or _anyone._ Her mother told her to go visit their neighbor, Haymitch, a day or two ago, but she never managed to get up off her bed.

Peeta and her would always go see Haymitch, see if he was alright and have small talk, make sure he was taking care of himself - maybe that was why she couldn't find it in herself to go visit him.

Currently, she was home alone. Her mother and little sister, Prim, had gone out. She remembers hearing her mother tell her that she was going to go up and see Peeta, if she wanted to come. All she managed was a croak of "no", and that was that. There was no arguing, no words said to try and convince her to come with them. A simple goodbye, and what time they should be back by was said, before the front door was closed with a soft _click_, leaving the black haired girl alone.

She remembers catching Prim's gaze, blue eyes shining with something, something she couldn't quite put her finger on. It looked as if she was silently begging her to come, or perhaps, she was silently telling her she would tell Peeta she said hi. Whatever she was trying to say, Katniss wasn't sure; but knowing Prim, it had to be one of those.

Was this how it always felt, when a friend risks something for your sake? Guilt weighing down on your shoulders, suffocating you and making it feel as if you're not getting enough air in your lungs, and no matter how many times you take in a deep breath - it's not enough, the guilt is still there, suffocating you.

She sighs, reaching up to run a hand through her greasy hair. "I really shoulder shower," she grumbles to herself, twirling the ends of her hair absentmindedly. It has been days since her last shower, since the last time she's felt water pellets on her and felt _clean_.

It surprises her that her mother, or Prim for that matter, hasn't said a word to her about it yet.

"I probably smell," she sighs, propping her elbow up on the table, her chin soon finding its way to the palm of her hand. She feels the need to shower, yet, she doesn't care; not even the slightest bit. So what if she smells? So what if her hair feels (and probably looks) as if it was dipped in a bucket of grease? She doesn't care. Others might, but not Katniss Everdeen.

But a shower sounds good, she has to admit. She can stand there and let the worries wash away, down the drain, and let her mind wander as she thinks. Showers were always the best place to do such, she concludes in her thoughts.

With a sigh, she pushes her chair away from the table and stands up on shaky legs. It takes her a moment, or two, to stand still, and once she is, she's moving. She moves to the closet in the hallway, curling her fingers around the brass doorknob and twists it, pulling it open to reveal all the coats the girls in the household owned.

A faint, melancholy, smile appears on her lips when her eyes fall on her father's jacket. Still in its rightful place in the closet, still not touched as if it was waiting for her father to wake up and take it, shrug it on and take off for work.

She knew that would never happen again, though.

She reaches out to take a hold of the lightest jacket she owns, perfect for the cool days that were upon them. A hum as she slips an arm in, and then the other, shrugging her jacket on with ease before zipping it up to her chin, as she always does.

Perhaps, it was time to get out of the house, she decides as she closes the closet door. She knows, oh she knows, that she should go up to the hospital to see her friend, but she couldn't - she can't find it in herself to walk inside the overly clean place and into the elevator, up the floors and to her dear friend's room. No matter how much she wants to see him, and make sure he's at least in that bed and being taken care of - she can't.

Not yet.

In time, hopefully, before a week passes since the incident, she'll go up to see him. She knows she'll see him, she'd be a terrible friend if she didn't. (_But you're already a terrible friend, Katniss_, she reminds herself.)

She stops in front of the front door, gripping tightly to the gold colored doorknob. She turns around, gaze falling to the family photo sitting atop one of the side tables. "I'll be back," she whispers, more so to her father than anything. With that, she leaves, closing the door behind her in one swift motion, nose crinkling when she feels just how chilly it was out.

"He better be home," is all she mutters to herself as she sets off for her neighbor's.

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**Whoooshh- hope it was okay! I'll see how fast I can update again \owo/**

**_~ Lovely Kacey Faith_**


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